MISCONDUCTOR | 迷指揮者

What kind of game is this?

You conduct a thirty-piece orchestra with your mouse as the baton.

It's a silly game, but we were serious about the music. The instruments are recordings of real orchestral players. Most pieces come in a short version that's over in a few minutes and a full version at the original length. The full Boléro runs fourteen minutes, and the finale of Beethoven's Ninth runs twenty-two.

The trouble is that the orchestra is astonishingly bad. Some players can hardly be heard, one is far louder than everybody else, and now and then somebody starts playing in the wrong key. The music doesn't stop for any of it, so please get them through to the end somehow.

How to conduct

The orchestra counts the beats by itself, so you don't have to beat time. What the baton tells them is "louder" or "smoother".

• To begin, bring the baton down in one big stroke

• Big strokes are loud, small strokes are soft

• Snap the baton back for a crisp sound, or place each stroke gently for a smooth one

• Stop the baton up high and the orchestra holds the note and waits for you (this is called a "hold")

• The tempo is on the mouse wheel. Turn it up too far and they can't keep up

• Left-click a section to cue it in. If you forget, they creep in timidly

• Hold the right button over a section and move up to make just that section louder, down to make it softer

• Let the last note ring as long as you like, then right-click to cut it off

The score on your stand shows your dynamics next to the ones written in the music, so you can match them as you go.

The players never say a word, but a "?" appears over their heads when they can't tell what you want, and a "!?" when they can't keep up.

Lower the baton and leave it there, and after about five seconds they start to drift out of tune.

Meet the orchestra

They are all bad, each in a different way.

• Flute: so quiet you can hardly hear it

• Piccolo: adds flourishes nobody asked for

• Clarinet: comes in a little late, every time

• Trumpet: tries far too hard, and the high notes keep cracking

• Horn: simply too loud

• Trombone: slides flatter and flatter, and sometimes sounds like an elephant

• Saxophones (Boléro only): the tenor sounds like a street band, the soprano like a snake charmer's pipe

• Bassoon: good, for some reason

• Percussion: the only ones who never put a foot wrong

Their form changes from concert to concert, and you are told before it starts. A "!" appears over anyone who starts to go wrong. Click their section and they get a little better for a short while.

Eight pieces

The pieces unlock in order, shortest first, and the Ninth comes last. At first you only get the short versions. Once you reach the rank of Resident Conductor, you can choose the full ones. The short versions add up to about 18 minutes, the full versions to about 72.

• Haydn: "Surprise" (about 1 min): wake the dozing audience with a single stroke

• Brahms: Hungarian Dance No. 5 (about 2 min)

• Grieg: In the Hall of the Mountain King (short about 1:20, full about 2:30): it keeps getting faster

• J. Strauss I: Radetzky March (short about 1:40, full about 3 min)

• Beethoven: Symphony No. 7, 1st movement (short about 3 min, full about 13 min)

• Ravel: Boléro (short about 4 min, full about 14 min): one tune, handed from one bad player to the next

• Tchaikovsky: 1812 Overture (short about 3:20, full about 14:30): cueing the cannons is the conductor's job too

• Beethoven: Symphony No. 9, 4th movement, "Ode to Joy" (short about 2 min, full about 22 min): the full version has a choir. They only sing "Aaah", though

When you've had enough

Hold Space and swing hard, and the baton flies out of your hand. Whoever it hits goes down, and the harder you throw, the more of the people around them go down too. Nobody plays while they're on the floor. Keep Space held down for rapid fire and you can work your way along a whole row. They will glare at you afterwards, or throw it back, so don't overdo it.

Instruments sometimes break in the fall, and each one adds to the damage total. A few, like the lead violinist's, are worth more than five million dollars on their own. A broken instrument stays broken until the piece is over, and it sounds like it.

Higher ranks, more moves

You start as an Apprentice. As the total of your best scores for each piece grows, you rise through the ranks: Assistant Conductor, Resident Conductor, Music Director, Maestro. (Playing the same piece again only helps if you beat your best score.)

Each rank adds moves a great conductor would make: huge strokes with the whole body, pointing straight at a section, turning to the audience, dancing. At the top rank, Maestro, you can keep your hands still and conduct with nothing but your eyes and eyebrows.

The full versions become available at the third rank, Resident Conductor.

Scores and the morning paper

When the concert is over, a review appears in the next morning's paper. There are two scores, Art and Chaos. On a day when instruments broke, the damage is printed too, and it counts toward the Chaos score as well.

An A for Art (78 points or more) takes you to the next piece. So does a disaster with a Chaos score of 150 or more, or damage of ten million dollars or more, as long as you keep conducting to the end. If it won't go well, going badly enough works just as well.

Also in the game

• A practice mode that teaches conducting from the very beginning (ten lessons)

• Free Practice, where you conduct however you like with no scores

• Replays from the podium or from the audience, which you can export as video

A mouse is required. If yours has no wheel, the ↑ and ↓ keys change the tempo.

Available in Japanese, English and Simplified Chinese.